(Things to do while being absolutely mesmerized …)
Friday, May 11
Comedy May-Ham, 8:00 p.m., Rex Theater, Sahsside
The Macyapper takes time out from his quest to “out” PittGirl to drop some funny on you. Other comedians include Dr. Awkward, Gab Bonesso and the provebial “more”. Rocco Supreme hosts, tickets are 7 bucks.
Gary Hoey, 8:00 p.m., Moondogs, Blawnox
Surf-rock influenced Gary Hoey plays perros de la luna tonight. He does a great cover of Focus’ “Hocus Pocus”, although his version doesn’t have the yodeling. Feel free to make your own “yodeling in the Allegheny River Valley” joke here.
Saturday, May 12
Beauty Pageant Bar Crawl , 7:00 p.m., Smokin’ Joes, Sahsside
The good people (Read: Drinkers, partiers, and general good-timers) over at Meetin Pittsburgh are throwing another bar crawl, this one beauty-pageant-themed. So ladies, you show up in a gown and bar hop, although actual hopping might be an issue in heels and taffeta, if I spelled taffeta correctly. Guys have the option of showing up as a “Host” which would work out awesome if you had a baby blue tuxedo with the big-ass 70s ruffled shirt.
Drinking in the bar crawl fashion is usually fun to being with, and coulping it with a sort of Cacophony Society hook like this should double your fun.
Shawn Mullins , 10:30 p.m., Club Cafe, Sahsside
Plus, you’d look really good for the Mullins show in a ball gown and sash that reads “Miss Taken”.
Never Souled Out: All Night Dance Party, 8:00 p.m., The Church, The OCC
Juddy and the Soulcialism crew are all involved in this shindig that brings DJs from the UK into Braddock to spin in a former church. I was there for Flux a couple weeks back, and it’s a good space that should suit this thing quite well. Tickets are 8 bucks in advance, 10 at the door, and it’s BYOB. It’s probably also BYOS(weat), but that’s part of the charm, I think. Cut yourself a slice of Northern Soul rug.
Sunday, May 13
Hang out with your mom if you can, call her if you can’t, remember her if she’s gone. Get her some flowers or something, she’ll like that.
My mom’s real subtle with the gift hints, calling me up the other day and saying “Boy, don’t forget, Mothers Day is at your cousins house, be there by noon. And by the way, I could really use a spa treatment.”
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Because Knowing Where To Go (and drink) Is Half The Battle
(Further Suggested Reading)
– Pittsburgh City Paper
– Pittsburgh Post Gazette
– Craigs List
– This Is Happeningâ€â€?â€â€?â€â€?â€â€?â€â€?–
Got an event planned? Would you like a whole flock* of yinzers with disposable income to show up? Let Git Aht know by sending the electronic mail to gitaht@gmail.com.
(* Note: “Flock� being, y’know.. very loosely-defined…)
Have some grape in the company of screen prints at the Warhol. Big Burrito provides four different wines and accompanying cheeses, The Warhol provides the atmosphere. If you see anyone dressed up as Valerie Solanas, keep your eye on them. If you dress up as Valerie Solanas, have someone keep an eye on you.
Running two shows a night like she’s workin’ the Vegas circuit, Dee drops by the Backstage Bar for a couple shows, and she’s at the point now where it’s like “Yeah, sure, I can stop by on my way somewhere else, sing a song or two” like she’s running the joint, then maybe stopping off at Jilly’s for a whiskey. Dee’s got a growing repertoire and she’ll show it off tonight, so stop by before the show, after the show, during the show, for the show.
According to the site, Jalsah is “a community event designed to promote awareness about middle-eastern music, culture, and dance. It is a place for both teachers, students, and non-initiates to network and learn more about traditional forms of music and dance.”
Attack Theater brings the show back to town after performing on a country wide tour, and these are the last performances in the Pittsburgh area. Aiming to make dance more accessible, AT presents a show filled with ladders to nowhere, seesaws, and a live band. Dance Magazine calls the show “ever-entertaining and hellishly fun” which is coincidentally exactly what my ex-wife called our marriage in the divorce papers, but unlike Dance Magazine, she went on to say, “but I’m just tired of the marathon bongo-playing sessions/beer tastings/cohiba smoking on weeknights when I have to go to work the next morning. And besides, he leaves his friggin’ socks everywhere. I swear, I found one in the fridge.*”
No, 
Lindsay 
See, this is where the hack writer will say something along the lines of “Hey everybody, jump on the Love Train and go see the O’Jays!” And since I’m a hack writer, I’ll say “Hey everybody, jump on…” You get the idea.
Note to self:
Enjoy a continental breakfast (Read: croissants and coffee) with birds. I mean, the birds will be there eating breakfast with you, not as part of the menu. That’d be a little too “Restaurant-At-The-End-Of-The-Universe”-ish, really. “Cool, waiter, let’s meet the meat.”