(Things to do while getting ready to sing “Oh Say Can Yinz See”)

Friday, June 30
Nine Inch Nails, 7:00 p.m., Post Gazette Pavillion
Mercer High School band member Trent Reznor brings the Nails to town, so pale yourself up and enjoy the angst. Openers are 80’s Goth stalwarts Bauhuas and the delightfully reserved and timid Peaches. (She of the greatest post break-up song ever, I won’t link ’cause we’re a family site, but if you know Peaches, you know the song I’m talking about.) Incredibly Awesome Reznor Trivia: Trent played Professor Harold Hill in his high school production of The Music Man, so see if he’ll shout out a couple choruses of “Marian The Librarian” at the show tonight.

Grease, 8:00 p.m., Benedum Center
Please, don’t stand up and shout “What was Shatner like to work with on TJ Hooker?!?” when Adrian Zmed is on stage as the Teen Angel character. I mean, he’s probably heard that one before. Besides, we all know Shatner’s a pain in the ass to work with anyway, so there’s no point in asking Zmed again. Let’s all move on.

Saturday, July 1
Satruday Light Brigade Live Broadcast, 10:00 a.m., Pittsburgh Children’s Museum
Local radio, live at the Pittsburgh Children’s Museum. This is your “family” event for the weekend, or at least, the family event I found that seems to be the coolest. Hell, it makes me wanna get a family for the weekend, maybe like, I dunno, rent one, just so I can go to this thing. SLB is a local show, produced out of WRCT for like, ever it seems. So get local, and go support Larry and Rikki Berger and the rest of the crew.

Pittaburgh Three Rivers Regatta, All Day, Downtown
“Float On” said the Modest Mouse… There’s so much going on, we just don’t have the space to describe it all… So some highlights for Saturday:

• Grand Prix Powerboat Races, 11:30 a.m. to 1:30 p.m.
• Jet Ski Stunt show, 11 a.m., 1:30, 6 and 7:30 p.m.
• The Mister Rogers Sing-Along Movie Shoot, 5 p.m., Main Stage at the Point. Breen mentioned this the other day here
• The Violent Femmes add it up at 8:30 p.m. This is the highlight if you’re an old guy like me.

The Space Pimps CD Release Party, 7:00 p.m., Mr. Smalls, Millvale
Local Pop-Punkers (Punk-Poppers? I dunno…) The Space Pimps throw a gig with a bunch of local bands the celebrate the release of their new disc “Turn It Up” at the great Mr. Smalls Theater compound. The Pimps are gearing up for national tour including some Warped Tour dates, so catch them before they get all famous and start puttin’ on airs n’at.

Sunday, July2
Pittsburgh Symphony Orchestra, 8:15 p.m., Hartwood Acres
Mozart, Bruch and Beethoven rock the funkin’ hizzy Sunday night, and the PSO goes along for the ride. Note to single guys: The Violinist is really cute, but I would advise against throwing your hotel room key on stage as any shiny flying objecs will distract the drummers and interrupt the show. We percussionists are easily distracted, see, because we’re not real bright. Seriously, one time, the bass player in this band I was in locked his keys in the car and had to break a window to get me out.

March of The Penguins, 9ish, Flagstaff Hill
FREE! FREE! FREE! No, this isn’t a film about the possible exodus of our beloved hockey team, this is the one about the birds that caused all the ruckus last year. Seriously, how did this great little documentary become a political football? Just let me watch my damn penguin movie! Anyway, maybe all the shots of Antarctica will cool you down in the midst of high Summer. Go see this and enjoy the night air and the dulcet tones of Morgan Freeman describing the mating habits of flightless waterfowl. Rent a tux, get into the spirit of the thing.