(Things to do in between checking prices on flights to Florida…)

Friday, February 9
Ron Jeremy Book Signing , 7:00 p.m., Joseph Beth Booksellers, Sahsside Works
With appearances in Reindeer Games (2000), The Boondock Saints (1999) and 21 Hump Street (1988), Mr. Jeremy has carved out a career noteworthy for…

Ah, screw it, he’s a porn star, but a brilliant one. Well-educated and well-spoken, Ron’s never taken himself too seriously, and has always seemed to treat the industry he chose with exactly the right amount of respect it deserves, which is to say, not much most of the time. But the man has always known how to market, and he’s incredibly media-savvy. Well now he’s gone and wrote himself one o’ them there books, titled “The Hardest (Working) Man In Show Business“. (I get it, yeah. It’s a boner joke, right.) and his signing tour stops in to the South Side tonight. I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say he’ll probably sign body parts if you ask him to.

Soulcialism, 10:00 p.m., The White Eagle, Sahsside
This month is special, it is, as Soulcialism celebrates it’s Fourth Anniversary, or Birthday, or whatever word would be appropriate. (Ah, I see… “Fourthiversary”. There we go.) As always, it takes place in the smoky, funky, sweaty confines of the Eagle, Pittsburgh’s Premier Place for Punks to drink on the cheap.

Good music, good dancing, good people, go. Drink. Dance. Go up to the DJ table and ask about the CD, which has some great tracks on it. Just don’t sit at the far end of the bar near the wall-mounted gas heater, because you’ll either catch fire, desiccate completely and end up looking like one of those Peruvian mummies, or just melt into your component parts of the 6 dollars worth of chemicals we all are without water. DJs Juddy and Soccer John probably won’t be signing body parts, but who knows? It can’t hurt to ask, ladies.

Saturday, February 10
Arctic Fun, You Know, For Kids! , 11:00 a.m. (and all day), Carnegie Museum of Natural History, Oakland
All manner of family-friendly activities going on up at the Carnegie today. Everything’s free to Museum visitors, too, so, y’know, good ’cause we love the cheap here at Git Aht, although to be honest, we love the cheap when it also involves the booze, but we can’t have the everything, can we? No, we can’t because where would we put it?

The guided tours start at 11 am, the kids can make polar bear puppets starting at noon, and you can even touch a caribou’s fur and antlers. One would hope that the Caribou is still involved with them, but ok, I can see how that might be a problem logistically, so I’m thinking that they’ll be detached from their original owner. It looks like they’ll have a live Snowy Owl though, so if you resemble a field mouse, you may want to avoid that demonstration. Just sayin’.

Loretta Lynn , 5:30 p.m., Pepsi Roadhouse, Burgettstown
Loretta is country, her whole life. The coal miner’s daughter, she married at age 14, had four kids by the time she was 17, and became a grandmother at age 29. She stood by her man even though he regularly cheated on her, and once left her while she was giving birth. It’s like, what else could you possibly heap on there?

And now, she gets to play the dinner show at the Pepsi Roadhouse in Burgettstown. Seems like a bit of a letdown, really, but the show should be good.

Sunday, February 11
Stomp , 3:00 & 7:00 p.m., Benedum Center, Dahntahn
Everybody knows about this, right? I don’t need to get into what Stomp is, what they do, how they do it?

Good. Personally, I’d go to the 3 o’clock show so I’m home to see the Police open up the Grammy awards. I haven’t watched the Grammys (Grammies?) in years, and I probably won’t watch these ones either beyond the first 10 minutes or so. Rumors are rampant that they’ll be doing a full reunion tour this year to mark the 30th (30th!) anniversary of the release of “Roxanne”. The old folks among us are hopeful that it’ll happen, and that if/when it does, they’ll make a stop here.

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Because Knowing Where To Go (and drink) Is Half The Battle
(Further Suggested Reading)
– Pittsburgh City Paper
– Pittsburgh Post Gazette
– Craigs List
– Pittsburgh Dish

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Got an event planned? Would you like a whole flock of yinzers with disposable income to show up? Let Git Aht know by sending the electronic mail to gitaht@gmail.com.