(Things to do while deciding whether to ask Joey porter for advice on your love life…)

Friday, September 8
Phat Man Dee, 8:00 p.m. Quiet Storm Cafe
Phat man Dee brings the pianos (and lots of ’em, I’m told) to the Quiet Storm tonight, and gets help from friends Nicholas Megalis from Cleveland, OH and Ratty Scurvics with Stix duh Clown of New Orleans, LA. For those of you unfamiliar with Phat Man Dee, she’s a jazz artist capable of both belting like a valkyrie calling warriors to the great hall for the never-ending feast, and then crooning so sweetly that fallen angels think about switching teams back to the good side. Bonus points for Dee: she rode a pink elephant (ok, fine it was fabric, but still) to her wedding.

The Pittsburgh Irish Festival , 4:00 p.m. and all weekend, Chevrolet Amphitheatre, Station Square
Allow me to share with you a song we used to sing at family gatherings with Dear Old Dad… (The name up there is Patrick for a reason, y’know..)

*ahem*

Weeeeeeeee
Drinkandwefight
andwedrinkandwefight
andwedrinkandwefight
andwedrinkandwefight
(repeat4x)

Soulcialism, 10:00 p.m. White Eagle Club, Sahsside
Monthly sweaty dance party courtesy of DJs Juddy and Soccer John. This is rapidly becoming a staple, so go… Important note: there’s no cover, the drinks are cheap, and if you make a small donation to a good charity you’ll walk out with a CD full of solid New Orleans Soul. Is that a good deal? You damn skippy it is.

Saturday, September 9
Rock The Block, 8:00 p.m., Bedford Square, Sahsside
Git Aht loves Australian girls. Git Aht loves Italian girls. Git Aht loves Polish girls. There’s a pattern here, and I could go on for days, but alas we haven’t the time. (ED NOTE: Thank god!) Suffice to say he also loves the Brazilian Girls, and WYEP is bringing their brand of electro-dub-pop-punk-dance-with-lyrics-in-five-languages to the Rock The Block festivites. Food will be provided by a whole rash of local restaurants including personal favorite Harris Grill. Now, I’m only gonna say this following thing once, because if I dwell on it, I’ll get all over-excited and need to think about baseball or Martha Stewart… Open Bar with the price of admission.

Aerosmith with Motley Crue, 7:30 p.m., Post Gazette Pavilion
I haven’t seen the video, but I heard that Tommy Lee trips sometimes when he gets out of the shower. I’m not sayin’, I’m just sayin‘. Anyway, summer concert season is winding down, and the weather looks to be good this weekend (for the most part), so go out and enjoy open-air music thrown at you forcefully by two absolute legends of rock. And if you get a little misty when they play “Home, Sweet Home” that’s ok. Let it out, I understand. I get the same way when they play “Girls, Girls, Girls.”

Sunday, September 10
Zany Umbrella Circus, 12, 2, and 4:00 p.m, Mellon Park
This is a good chance to catch the Zanies if you missed them up at the Schenley Plaza earlier this Summer. It’s part of the larger “A Fair In The Park” crafts festival presented by the Craftsmen’s Guild of Pittsburgh which is going on all weekend and features booths and live demonstrations.

Vertigo, 8:00 p.m., Regent Square Theater
Indiana PA’s own Jimmy Stewart in the classic Hitchcock flick about a detective afraid of heights.

Okay, fine, it’s a bit more than that, but come on… You know it’s good, it’s Hitchcock, it’s Stewart, it’s the absolutely beautiful Kim Novak. And it’s filled with sexual tension. Everybody love ssexual tension, don’t they? Isn’t that why Moonlighting was so popular back in the 80s?

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Got an event planned? Would you like a whole flock of yinzers with disposable income to show up? Let Git Aht know by sending the electronic mail to gitaht@gmail.com.