(Things to do while packing the truck for North Carolina…)
Friday, December 29
First Friday Art Walk, 6:00 p.m., Ellsworth Avenue, Shadyside
The Ellsworth crawl features Gallerie Chiz and their opening of “A Trip … Gilt without Guilt,” a big group show with dozens of artists working in various media. There’s also the Bella Arte gallery up there, a bunch of bars and restaurants, and the cupcake shop that gave my friend and I free cupcakes at 12:30 a.m. last Friday night as we were just walking by on the way to the car. (“CoCo’s” I think. I don’t recall for sure, because I had been drinking. Surprise.) They were delicious, a chocolate and an egg nog flavored ‘cake, and that’s as far as I’ll go into the whole “Cupcake Class” thing. That’s for them what are smarter than me to discuss.
Game Night and the Seven Minute Dance Series, 9:00 p.m., Attack Theater Studios, Garfield
Every so often throughout the night, you’ll get a seven minute dance performance by Attack Theater, so it’s like, awesome, for those of us with horrendously short attention spans. And Games? Yeah, games, like four-square, tic-tac-toe, backgammon and Atari.
Atari? I will own you at Combat, especially the bouncing bullet tank game. Know this. Word.
Saturday, January 6
Learn To Row, 11:30 a.m., TRRA Training Center, Millvale
Ok, the holidays are over, and yeah, you drank and ate as much as I did. Don’t lie… You look in the mirror and you’re like “who brought Marlon Brando back from the dead and let him into my house?” So take the free class from the Three Rivers Rowing Association and learn one of the absolute best aerobic exercises around. The only pre-requisite needed is that you be “Willing to learn and have a good time”, which is, oddly enough, exactly the pre-requisite a 32-year-old woman had for me when I dated her at the age of 21. Sure she was a cradle-robber, but a lot of fun, especially when she made me repeat things until I got them right. There’s something to be said for that method of education, because I’ve never used the wrong fork at dinner since. I mean, my fork game is ridiculous.
The Chief, 8:00 p.m., O’Reilly Theater, Cultural District, Dahntahn
This is a one-man play focusing on the story of the legendary Art Rooney, Sr. portrayed by local actor Tom Adkins. It’s co-written by Rob Zellers and Gene Collier, the latter being possibly the best local writer we have, and certainly the most entertaining every time he pecks out a column for the PG. The Chief may be making its last run, so this would be a good choice for your Saturday night.
Kill Hannah, 7:00 p.m., Mr. Smalls, Millvale
Kill Hannah does have one of the best-titled songs of last year, the alt-radio hit “Lips Like Morphine” which satellite radio has been playing the hell out of and rightfully so, it’s a great single. The openers, Pink Spiders (check out the Stewart Copeland-esque drum track on the intro to “Modern Swinger” at that link) are pretty good too. They’re described as “Striking figures in pink and jet black” and are “distant and aloof, itchy and sex-fueled.” Ok, distant, aloof, sex-fueled… Muy Rock and Roll descriptors for sure, but “itchy”? Who the hell’s itchy? Or are they throwing that out there so they’ll get pelted with Desitin at their shows?
Sunday, January 7
Seussical, 2:00 p.m., Byham Theater, Cultural District, Dahntahn
The weekend’s “Family” event, I’m posting it because I always loved Seuss. I always got this sort of subversive vibe from his books, even when I was a kid. it’s the same reason I preferred Bugs Bunny over, say Mickey Mouse. Also, a lot of you might have the “Cat in The Hat” hat from your rave days, and it’d probably be ok to wear it to the show, as long as you a.) remove it once the performance starts and b.) take the E out of the stash pocket before you leave the house.
Or maybe not, who knows? Might make the show more enjoyable. The thing is, you might not be able to get gallons and gallons water until intermission, so keep that in mind. Plus, the rest of the row might not want you touching them, telling them how much you love them. Surprisingly, at the Byham, this turns people off to you, and they think you’re odd. You will get to touch Security on the way out, though.
Got an event planned? Would you like a whole flock of yinzers with disposable income to show up? Let Git Aht know by sending the electronic mail to email@example.com.